THE TOOTH FAIRY'S DOG DRAMA

This is actually not my story to tell, but since it was told in the fitting room, since it is SO crazy and since I received permission to share it with you, it’s technically ok. Right?

2 years ago, let’s call her Jane, received an Amazon package. Not a strange thing by itself, just that she didn’t order anything. It was heavy, her name was on it. Inside, there was a 16-lb bag of dog food and two (x2) 1.5 liters of Listerine mouthwash. Jane would have remembered if she ordered these for sure: First, she doesn’t have a dog! Second, this amount of mouthwash can be enough for a dentist’s office for the whole month! Still, she checked her Amazon account, who knows, maybe too much wine last night? Maybe her son was using her account? But no, not it!

She put it aside, forgot all about it (must be a big house in the suburbs), until the following week.

Amazon delivery.

Hmmmm. Heavy.

What can that be?

A 16-lb bag of dog food and two 1.5 liters of Listerine mouthwash… Now Jane here is nothing like the people who receive by mistake another person’s beautiful sweater from the dry clean and never give it back, ho no! She knew some dog was waiting for its food and some mouths needed to be washed. She contacted Amazon via chat, but it was too miniscule for them to handle a return, they said “don’t worry about it. Have it. It’s all yours”. Her ex-husband is surprised by the sudden generosity, but he has a dog. Her dinner guests each received 1.5 liters of mouthwash, not optional, as a party favor 😊

Three weeks of relaxation, and in the third week, Amazon box at the door: A 16-lb bag of dogfood and two 1.5 liters of Listerine mouthwash. This time, her call to Amazon was escalated to a real-person-manager-guy, and she could have sworn that he thought she was a crazy old lady (she can be very animated...).  But eventually he got it, he did a thorough check, it was her name on the package, her address, she was not charged for it. He asked her to download an app so she could scan the package, scan each item but at the end of the day, “it was not in the system”, he could not figure it out.  

It's 2024, Jane has a new boyfriend. The boyfriend has a dog. The packages keep on coming. The boyfriend's dog loves this food. Unfortunately the boyfriend is not a dentist, so still stuck with gigantic bottles of mouthwash. But 2024 is great, not only a new boyfriend, she also sold her house and is moving to a new place.

After a month, the buyers called to say there was some mail and an Amazon package waiting for her to be picked up, do I really need to spell it out for you? A 16-lb bag of dogfood and two 1.5 liters of Listerine mouthwash. After two times of going to pick up the gift that keep on giving, she told them “This comes with the house. Don’t call me anymore.” They sure didn’t. Why? Because last month, at her new place:

A knock on the door.

Amazon delivery.

Heavy.

What can that be?

I am kidding you not. It was under her name and her new address (NOT a forward address), a direct delivery from Amazon! I asked her if someone was fucking with her, or stocking her, but what’s the point, and 15 times????? She said that her ex-husband was twisted, but not that twisted!

The last package was in November. It feels like her stalker lost interest. Or maybe not? I promise to update you in 2025.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!